My Pointless Life

So, I’ve been working on a website for the past week or so, spending close to 50 hours in straight development, and it was the first site I ever completed. I mean, I started with a concept, and I finished the site’s backend entirely. It was quite amazing. I received quite a bit of good feedback on the design, and the concept, that I was all pumped up for its release.

Well, after I finished writing the sales/signup page content, I decided I wanted feedback. I only needed 1 more page of content, and to debug the site to launch it. It was going more smoothly than I had ever anticipated, and I was so excited that I didn’t sleep for 2 days. I stayed up, came up with more ideas, and just kept working. Well, anyways, I had decided I wanted feedback on what I had written for the sales/signup page, so I posted it on a forum (thebotnet.com) where I was intending to eventually release it to the public.

Obviously, I hadn’t done enough research into the concept, because I was quickly informed that what I was working on was illegal. What? Wait… What!? I had spent an entire week working on something only to find out that what I was doing was not allowed, and I would quickly be prosecuted. Oh man, was I pissed. But hey, I was still excited about the release, so instead of just canning the project, I did a last ditch effort to come up with some good material to make the website work. I did a bunch of research, and decided on a concept I thought would work.

Then what happens? I lost interest. Normally, I don’t finish projects before I lose interest. Something happens in life, or I figure out that I could be doing something else and doing it better, or just something random happens that causes me to just say ‘meh, fuck it’. Maybe I need to stop asking myself ‘why?’ all the time .

Anyways, so now I sit here thinking; “Well, if I can finish coding a site entirely, only for it to fail, what do I do?”. Though I do believe life is nothing, and existence is without meaning, I do find that indulging in things you enjoy is just as pointless as not doing so, so why not? Haha. Well now, in this current time, I’m coming up with new ideas, thoughts, plans, etc. So, what do I do? I come here, and start evaluating myself as much as possible. I look at what I’m doing, I compare it to what others are doing, and I analyze what I come up with.

We live in a world where failure is imminent. Even the most successful people fail in some way or another. So, I’ve been considering making failure my hobby. That way, if you fail at failure, at least you succeeded, and if you succeed at failure, you still succeeded. So, I’ve decided I’m just not gonna shoot for success anymore. I’m actually going to start aiming for failure. I am going to be the worst possible human I can be, and hope for the worst. That way, when I fail, at least something good came out of it.

Hmm, sorry for the wall of text. I just kinda had to sort through some thoughts . Hope you guys like the white text on black background, btw. Lots of you were wanting it .